It’s been five years since this lonely blog has had a post.
A lot has changed since I wrote about the heartache I experienced with my new Blackberry, seeing a woman crap her pants at a convenience store and witnessing the chronic deer in the headlight look when you ask a simple question.
Since that time we have changed addresses numerous times and we are back on the sunny side of the state. As I look back on my own posts, I often wonder how I could have romanticized life here so much. Time teaches us lessons and to be honest, this place is only a slight improvement. It’s just not as desolate and one can easily get to the big city in an hour or so. It’s Kansas, arguably the first notch in the Bible Belt—so much so that if you listen closely the wind gently whistles the Sermon on the Mount over the wheat fields. And now, of course, we have a fearless leader who makes national headlines on a regular basis. My anus snaps shut when I hear his name; and I most certainly just felt a quiver as I wrote about it.
Retrospectively, I can say that in spite of my own “City Girl” arrogance, I did gain a few valuable lessons aside from the fact that I would never set foot in that God forsaken land again. Although habitually short on social skills and more often than not, unapologetically opinionated, the Mudflap Bubba never leaves you with a question as to where they stand on any subject. I was often appalled by the overall lack of political correctness and the rather benign social anarchy that was often demonstrated; yet, there was a kind of brave, offensive honesty that you rarely find in suburban areas. I also can say with great conviction that in these rural areas people are generally helpful, talkative and friendly; providing a sense of safety if you ever end up in a moment of need—assuming your cell phone works. You don’t find that in many places.
Lets get back to the shenanigans, shall we? And remember folks, this will continue to be a cautionary tale, reminding you to stay in a large metropolitan area.